As one might have guessed, there is more than one issue that sets Irish Cream above Marriage in the list of awesome things. I call the second issue Many and One.
A few days ago, I ran out of Irish Cream. Rather than panic at the lack of its beautiful rich creamy and beige presence in the house, I merely trundled off to the store, a mere twenty dollars in tow, and picked up a replacement bottle. As I enjoyed a fifth glass of its smooth goodness, I pondered this is far from the first bottle of Irish Cream I have owned and, should the Lord tarry, far from the last. So many bottles, each bringing such universal goodness to my life. It is indeed heartwarming. Ah, but compare this to the while of a woman!
Recently Sarah has been away on a business trip, leaving me alone. If Sarah is gone for several days, it is impossible for me to jaunt to the store and pick up a new Sarah. Even if I took it into my head to get a different woman it would cost me a good deal more than twenty dollars to wine and dine myself into a second engagement (the first one broke me as it was…). Rather than an endless supply of Sarah waiting to be picked up at any of a dozen locations, there is only ONE Sarah, who not only is not always here, but sets the times for when she can be picked up. As I understand certain polygamous groups have sought to thwart this issue however, while I applaud their efforts, I am not so blind as to miss how Sarah would respond to the suggestion. Not as well as the bottle of Irish Cream that is about to be replaced I assure you.
In conclusion, Marriage=One, Irish Cream=Many. Another easy win for Irish Cream.
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1 comment:
Pretty amusing ideas you touch on. I agree with how simple the act of buying alcohol is, and can also be quite enjoyable depending on the situation (ie: having a party, friends staying over, wine for dinner, liquor before a big night out)...so yes, I must admit, i do enjoy my alcohol as well. I am living with my boyfriend in DC also, and when he is away on business I find that going to pick up a bottle of something tasty that will satisfy you for the night is very memorable...and relaxing, ok and sometimes heady! :)
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